Wish me luck as you wave me goodbye...

Tomorrow I’m off to France. If I ever get there. We’re in the grip of a cold snap. Well, it’s cold to us, but if you live in Siberia, then what we’re currently experiencing would probably have you reaching for a t-shirt and shorts. As it is, people across Europe are locked in competition. The mere mention of the current outdoor temperature wherever you happen to be produces a flurry of “Ha! That’s nothing, it’s minus 27 here and my tongue has just frozen to the roof of my mouth!” “Ha! Call that cold! I had to have my pyjamas surgically removed by the fire brigade this morning because they’d frozen to my body overnight!”

Not to be outdone, I’m heading for my house in the French countryside, where the heating is currently switched off and, according to the neighbours, the fridge has stopped working in protest, because it’s realised that the outside temperature in my kitchen has now fallen below the temperature inside the fridge itself and, being a French fridge, it has decided not to waste its time any further and gone on strike. The internet tells me it’s going to be around -10 to -12 C for the next couple of nights over there, and that the daytime temperatures are unlikely to rise above freezing. I could stay here in the relatively balmy south-east of the UK, where we are forecast a slightly warmer zero to +3 degrees, but then, in the “Who’s the coldest” stakes, I’d be out of contention. It’s a question of pride. Why, even TH has been in on the act. He’s spent the day in Zurich, and the first thing he said as I walked in the door tonight was “It was *&^* cold over there! Minus 10!”. 

Actually, I’m lying. The first thing TH said to me when I came home from work was “Grummmhungbruung”. Or something similar. Owing to his absence in Switzerland, you see, he has been unable to address the problem of his car. I discovered yesterday that his battery was flat, when the nice man from BT came to install our new superfast internet connection. The nice man needed to put up a ladder outside the house, but TH’s car was in the way. I offered to move it forward, which was when I discovered that the battery was flat. So, when I came home this evening at 9.30 pm, it was to find TH outside in the cold, removing the battery from his car so he could charge it. 

So, I’ll be back soon with tales of How I Survived the Cold. Unless I’m recovering from having my pyjamas surgically removed..

Oh, the “Grummmhungbruung” ?? It’s just the way TH talks when he’s holding a torch in his mouth.